Effortless Romance

One of the best ways to be romantic without being cheesy, or feeling cheesy, is to honestly approach a relationship with straightforward openness. If you love a girl, or a guy, be open about it. Don’t dance around with a bunch of courtship games.

Now granted, courtship is part of the romance, so you can’t just excise that from the equation. That said, you can be romantic without being embarrassing. This advice goes for girls and guys, but ladies, come on, you know it: guys need a lot more help here. Either way, read on for a few suggestions that can help you enjoy the love without all the “mushy stuff”.

1. Context: Flowers Aren’t Cheesy Unless You Make Them

Flowers are one of the most classic, successful, straightforward ways to be romantic there are. However, presentation is everything. If you walk out of an alcove as she’s leaving work and hand her a big bouquet of a hundred top-tier roses, that’s going to be cheesy and embarrassing. Others will see what you’ve done, which embarrasses her.

As she’s more embarrassed than delighted with your maneuver, you’ll become embarrassed, and now “cheese” is the only thing you can lean on to recover the social losses in the situation; so you’ll be tempted to make a bunch of dumb jokes that totally take away from the moment.

However, in contrast, a single red rose presented out of nowhere with a smile and a kiss isn’t cheesy, and it is romantic. With floral gifts and similar gestures, presentation is absolutely everything.

2. Do New Things Together so You’re Both “In the Dark”

If you do something with her that you’ve done before, you’ll be more interested in her reactions than the event itself, which will shift your focus. Accordingly, you’ll be tempted to do little things and make little comments that remove you from the situation. You’ll end up being a cheesy son of a gun yourself by mistake.

Here’s a better idea: do new things together that neither of you is familiar with so you both get to share in the novelty of the situation, rather than one of you secretly knowing more than the other. This isn’t the same for all situations, but it’s one way to cut off some of the cheese.

3. Try Not to Involve Other People

Part of why something is cheesy is because it’s inauthentic, but letting on as though it is natural. That’s cheesy. Well, if you’re doing something for her where others can see, you’re “performing” for her, and you’re performing for them.

That isn’t helpful. Rather, when making big gestures, do your best so that only she and you are aware of them. This is healthy intimacy.

Authenticity

Don’t involve others, assure new experiences are truly new to both of you, and lean on flowers as a gift—just remember that presentation is what determines cheesiness in this area. Such moves should help you do fun things with your significant other without being too “cheesy”, as the saying goes.